I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
