why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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