dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
