so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
