I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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