I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
