Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
