Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
