mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
