They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
