I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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