Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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