What a fucking waste of an outfit
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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