Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
