My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
