It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
