That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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