ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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