I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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