At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
