Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
