I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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