My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
