Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
