Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
