why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
