Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
