wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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