They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
