Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!

(805): View more from California

God Bless America!

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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(248): View more from Michigan

about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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(208): View more from Idaho

the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker

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(519): View more from Ontario

That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"

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(210): View more from Texas

Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read

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(207): View more from Maine

That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies

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