Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
