i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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