in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
