he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
