he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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