I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
