If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
