haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
