Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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