At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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