Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
