The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
