I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
