i don't like sucking hair
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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