There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize