That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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