soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
