You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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