You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
