She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
