Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
